Chasing Shadows
by Questfan
Summary: Ben had taught his boys a code of honour that extended to others. They lived by it and he was proud of them, but would that code sustain him if it cost him one of his sons?


**I have no idea why we like to beat up the characters we like, but whatever the reason, we all seem to do it. I hope you enjoy!**

 **Chasing Shadows**

Ben lifted his hat and rubbed the drops of sweat off his forehead with his forearm. He hadn't paused or allowed his horse to take a breather and he would not allow himself one either. He urged his horse onward as he settled his hat back into place and he wondered for the thousandth time where his son could be. The sound of steady hoofbeats beside him gave him a measure of comfort, but deep in his heart he still keenly felt what was missing. His youngest son had failed to return from a trip to Placerville and was more than a week overdue. Joe had been called as a witness to a case involving a man he'd tangled with in Virginia City and he had traveled alone against his father's wishes. Ben frowned as he recalled his son's objection to being babysat on the trip. He had argued that the man was already in custody and therefore no threat to him. He'd said that he was just a secondary witness and not the key to the prosecution. He'd claimed they were too busy with work on the Ponderosa and Ben had reluctantly been forced to concede they were short-handed. Hindsight had him kicking himself that he had not listened to his gut and sent along Hoss or Adam. Or gone himself.

There had been no good news from the Sheriff in Placerville, after Roy had made enquiries via the stageline. In fact, the news that had come back had left him even more concerned. Joe had never made it to Placerville for the trial and it had commenced without him. Fortunately for the prosecution, their case had not been solely reliant on Joe's testimony, but it had made things a little more difficult without it and the man had almost gone free. Ben wasn't the slightest bit interested in the outcome of the case once he knew his son had played no part in it, but he desperately needed to know why Joe had not arrived. Had somebody gotten to him first to try to silence him? It seemed like the most obvious explanation despite Joe's objections that he was not a key witness. His mind kept replaying his argument with his willful and stubborn youngest son. If only he hadn't given in. Somehow Joe had a knack for making him regret his decisions on occasion and this was definitely one such occasion.

Ben knew he had pushed their horses almost as hard as he dared, but so far neither Adam or Hoss had raised an objection. As the miles of dirt disappeared behind them, Ben found his hope sinking once again. They were well past Carson City and traveling into open territory. There had been no sign of Joe at most of the little one-horse towns that only existed as a flimsy excuse to build a saloon. His son was supposed to be traveling home along the road they were also traveling on and yet nobody they had asked could remember seeing a young man fitting his description. With one exception that Ben wasn't convinced about. The town drunk had claimed to have seen Joe riding off out into the desert, which made no sense to anybody. He was either on his way to Placerville or on his way back to Virginia City, neither of which included a trek through the desert. His story had been dismissed as nothing more than a liquor-induced rambling and they had ridden on. As Ben glanced out across the wild country ahead of him, he knew there were a thousand places a man could disappear to and never be found again. He felt his heart racing at the ugly thought that he may never have an answer as to his son's whereabouts. In an effort to stave off the doubts whispering in his ear, he drove his heels into his horse's flanks and urged him to a faster pace.

Adam glanced across at his brother, trying to discern the reason for his father's sudden burst of energy. Hope flared for a brief moment that he may have seen something up ahead, but as they passed yet more packed dirt and scrub, he knew his father was just giving rein to his anxiety. They all felt it. No matter how much he'd tried to tell his father that Joe had just lost track of the time and found a pretty girl to waylay him, none of them really believed it. Joe may have his moments of irresponsibility, but not even he would make them wonder for a week if he was safe or not. The fact there were no telegraph lines from Placerville meant that Joe couldn't have notified them of any change of plans, but he was inventive enough to have found another option if he knew he was going to be delayed for a length of time. As Adam scanned the area around him, he felt as tense as his father as worry clawed its way up his chest. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack and the haystack felt like it was the size of Nevada.

By the time they were forced to stop and make camp for the night, Ben felt his fear inching higher once again. Another night under the stars brought another night with little sleep. As he lay in his bedroll and listened, he knew that neither of his sons were faring any better. If they had been able to track in the dark, he would have packed up and moved out. Instead, he forced himself to stay put and wait until the sun crept back over the horizon. What little snippets of sleep he did manage were filled with dreams that all ended with the same thing. A dark void that swallowed his youngest son whole and never gave him back.

* * *

Hoss leaned forward in the saddle and patted his horse's neck. The animal was exhausted and he hated pushing them all at the pace they had been, but it couldn't be helped. Ben had finally slowed to a lazy trot and Hoss felt his horse's sides heaving beneath him. It was almost four hours since they had broken camp and his stomach was beginning to rumble. On any other day, Adam would have taken the opportunity to give his younger brother a ribbing. On this day, he simply ignored it. Humour was not high on the agenda for either of them and an empty stomach meant nothing in the face of more important concerns. Suddenly he pulled his horse to a stop and stared at a dust trail moving across the valley below them. A small wagon of some sort rumbled across the open space and he strained to see the horse that appeared to be tied behind it.

"You see it too?" Adam's voice startled him from his thoughts, but he slowly nodded.

The thick dust swirled around the wagon, but all three of them saw the same thing. The horse tied to the rear of the wagon looked awfully familiar. Ben wheeled his own horse around and began looking for a way down into the valley below. His sons were close on his heels as the three of them made their way towards the pinto that trotted along behind the wagon without a rider anywhere in sight.

Tessa spotted the trio coming towards her and she felt her chest beginning to constrict with fear. The rifle that sat on the seat next to her had no more ammunition and the ivory handled revolver beside it had only one bullet left. There was no way she could take down three riders with just one bullet and fear began to worm its way up her throat. She glanced across into the rear of the wagon and tried to reassure the child settled there, in amongst the supplies. She refused to look any further as there was nothing more she could do. Instead, she turned back to face the unknown riders. Her heart was pounding wildly as she hefted the rifle across her knees. The ruse would not last long and she carefully tucked the revolver under her skirt. At least one of the three would go down before she died. If it was the last thing she did, she would protect her grandson.

Adam wanted to kick his horse into a gallop, but his father's restraint held him back. Just. As they drew closer, it was clear to all three of them that the horse was most certainly Joe's pinto. The question he ached to answer was, where was his brother? Why did a random stranger have his horse? Joe would not have left Cochise without a good reason. As they rode down onto the faintest of wagon trails, showing how rarely it was used, he noted that the wagon had pulled to a stop. Even from a distance it was clear the driver was a woman and she now sat staring at them with a rifle leveled in their direction.

"I ain't got anything of value to you!"

"Except my brother's horse! And maybe some answers!"Adam muttered the words to himself, but Ben warned him to be quiet anyway. Adam barely managed to keep his mouth shut and let his father take the lead. If the woman sitting in the wagon had Joe's horse, it was a good bet she had taken Cochise at the end of that rifle. Where that had left his brother was anybody's guess and he didn't like the options his mind was supplying.

Ben raised a hand in a conciliatory gesture before nodding towards the horse. "May I ask where you purchased the horse?"

Tessa squinted at the trio as she considered how to answer the question. They were each riding fine horses and obviously knew good horseflesh when they saw it. They didn't look like thieves, being well equipped, but a woman traveling alone could not be too careful. She had no wish to be robbed, but if giving them the horse would rid her of them, then so be it. Before she could answer, a low groan from the back of the wagon had her tensing in fear. She had hoped to keep the stranger out of sight and let the men go on their way, but her luck seemed to be running its usual course. All downhill!

The next few moments seemed to blur into a haze as the trio of riders surged towards her wagon and surrounded her. Tessa lifted the rifle and aimed it at the older man in front, but he paid her no attention. Before she knew what was happening, the three of them had dismounted and one of them had climbed onto the back of the wagon.

"Leave him be! He's no threat to any of you in his condition!" As she tossed aside the useless rifle, she suddenly remembered the revolver underneath her skirt and she grasped at it. A squeal of terror from the back of her seat had her once again aiming at the older man.

"Take the horse, but leave us be! He's no threat to you!"

It soon became apparent that none of the trio were looking to hurt the young man and she stared as the dark-haired one knelt down beside him. Without really thinking, Tessa reached across the seat and pulled her grandson towards her, still fearful for his safety.

"Joe. Can you hear me, Joe?" Adam stared at his brother's too-still form and willed him to respond as he shook him. Finally another faint groan told them all that he was at least still breathing.

Tessa hugged the child to herself as understanding dawned. This was the family that Joe had spoken of. His father and brothers had come, just as he said they would. She had not dared to hope for such a thing as hope had deserted her many months ago. But he had spoken the truth and she felt a glimmer of that hope rising once again. Perhaps there was a God after all.

"Adam?" Ben reached across the edge of the wagon to grasp at Joe's hand while trying to ascertain his son's condition. The hand he held onto was warm to the touch. So far, Joe had not opened his eyes or done much more than flinch as Adam had touched his shoulder. Ben looked up to see the strange woman staring at him, still holding Joe's revolver in her hand. From where he stood, it looked as though she had been helping his son, but the threat still clearly aimed his way muddied that notion.

"Ma'am, what happened to him?"

The question jolted Tessa out of her dark thoughts as she stared at the man who was clearly Ben Cartwright. Joe had been proud of his family name and insisted they would come looking for him. He just needed to stay alive long enough for them to reach him.

"He said you'd come. I didn't … I didn't believe him," she whispered as if she were talking to herself.

"Ma'am!" Adam was a little more forceful and the woman suddenly swung his way.

"You must be Adam."

The response caught him off guard and he struggled for a moment for something to say. "Uh, yes … I am."

"Joe said you'd come. All of you. He said so."

Hoss had moved around the wagon and was standing beside Tessa, approaching her as he would a skittish colt. He wasn't sure about her mental state as she clutched at the child in her lap, while staring at his younger brother.

"Ma'am, clearly you've been talkin' to Little Joe about us, so you know we don't mean you no harm. We just want ta help him. We need ta know what happened to him."

Tessa's face crumpled as tears began to slide down her cheeks. "He saved my grandson."

Adam was only half listening as he peeled back a thin ragged blanket that had been laid across his brother. He sucked in a sharp whistle as he saw the broken shaft of an Apache arrow protruding from his brother's side. Dried blood had caked the shirt to his skin and a strip of makeshift bandaging had long since soaked through. The wound looked as though it was at least a day old and he frowned. No wonder Joe's skin was burning under his hand.

"Pa!"

Ben was only a few seconds behind him and he too drew in a sharp breath.

Tessa sniffed and tried to pull herself together as she once again was confronted with the young man's injury. The thought that the same arrow could have been buried in her grandson brought fresh tears to her eyes. The four year old would not have survived and she knew it. As much as she wouldn't wish harm on the young man, she was still grateful it had been him and not her Jake. The mixture of relief and guilt at her relief threatened to make her retch and she clamped her mouth shut.

"We need to get that thing out of him." As Hoss leaned in beside his father, he listened to the ragged sounds of his brother's labored breathing. Even if the arrow hadn't already punctured the lung, it was clearly causing Joe some major difficulty anyway. He quickly moved to search out the area for firewood and Tessa watched in amazement as the trio seemed to move in some unspoken dance. She finally relinquished her grip on her grandson and kissed his forehead before telling him to stay put. It was clear they intended to do what she could not and remove the arrow. It wasn't for want of trying, but she simply did not have the strength in her hands. Rheumatism had twisted her fingers and even though she had attempted to, the arrow would simply not budge. Joe had screamed in agony as she had fought with it and finally she had been forced to leave it be as he had passed out in the back of her wagon.

By the time Hoss had water boiling and a knife blade heating in the flames, Adam had torn a shirt into strips of cloth and laid them in a pile beside his brother. He kept a close watch as his father peeled back the remains of Joe's shirt and he frowned at the extent of the angry mottled skin around the wound. Tiny streaks of dark webbing looked like some kind of malevolent spider had marched across his brother's torso. The signs of infection were all too apparent. Conversation was stilted as the four of them prepared for what they knew must be done. As Hoss carried the pot of water closer, he placed it where it was within reach and then readied himself by Joe's legs. Without needing to explain, Adam moved around to where he could lay his weight against Joe's shoulders and the two brothers eyed each other off. They both knew their little brother was surprisingly strong and each of them knew it would take both of them to hold him down once their father got started.

"You probably should take that young fella away from the wagon," Ben nodded towards Jake as he considered the knife in his hand. Tessa knew he was right, but she hesitated for moment. "We've got this," he nodded once again.

Tears glistened in her eyes as she scooped her grandson into her arms and began to walk away from what she knew was coming. The determination she saw on each of the faces did not fool her into thinking for one moment that what they planned to do would be easy.

"Hold him still," was the last words she heard as she hastened to wrap her arms around Jake's ears.

Ben hefted the knife into his right hand and leaned forward. He did not bother to look at either of his sons as he could not bear to see his own fear reflected on their faces. Instead, he steeled his resolve and set to work. Joe bucked against the hands that held him as the blade slid into the wound. Incoherent words and groans mingled together and Ben tried his best to ignore them. Blood flowed freely around the arrowhead and he felt his fingers slip more than once on the broken shaft. As he tried again to work the arrow loose, he felt the resistance of metal buried in bone. It was a godsend the arrow had not pierced the lung, but it made it that much harder to remove.

Joe's eyes flew open and Ben glanced at his son's face. Raw agony stared back at him as both Adam and Hoss struggled to hold him. A strangled cry of pain escaped before Joe once again slumped into unconsciousness. Ben renewed his hold and began to work the shaft back and forth, praying silently that the arrowhead would not snap off before he could get it loose. Suddenly the shaft shifted in his hand and he knew that the metal had worked its way out of Joe's rib bone. With another whispered prayer, he pulled firmly and felt the shaft finally move without hindrance. As the metal came free, blood and pus welled up from the wound. Before he could ask for it, Adam had passed across a cloth that had been steeped in the boiling water and Ben began to clean the mess from Joe's side but not before more of it was rapidly spreading onto the floor of the wagon.

"Hold on, son." He worked steadily and quickly, but the blood seemed to move faster than he could. Finally he lifted Joe's body into his arms and watched closely as his two sons wrapped tight strips of bandaging around their seemingly lifeless brother. He felt the heat of his son's skin against his own cheek and he knew they had only won a skirmish. The real battle was still to be fought. As he gently eased Joe back down against Adam's spread out bedroll, he could not resist the urge to stay connected. His hands would not loosen from his son's shoulders and he found himself staring intently at his face. The flush of his skin brought another wave of fear as he considered just how far from any kind of medical help they were.

* * *

Hoss leaned over the edge of the wagon with a canteen and watched as his father slowly dribbled the liquid across Joe's lips. At least the instinct to swallow was still there and Joe sucked in the much-needed water. Nobody seemed inclined to talk as each of them knew what they were dealing with and nobody wanted to be the one to give voice to fear. Finally Tessa approached with the child asleep in her arms. She rocked him, almost unconsciously as she stared at the three men in turn.

"Well?"

Ben blinked at her voice and shifted back onto his haunches. Tessa noted that he still held onto his boy's hand as he looked up and she smiled wistfully. Joe had told her of his family and she finally knew what he had meant. This family was not easily broken or pulled apart. Unlike hers.

He pointed towards the broken arrow shaft that lay discarded on the ground. "We got it out, but the wound is infected. We need to get him to a doctor."

"Pa, I don't think he's in any shape to be traveling anywhere just yet. He's still bleeding too freely."

Adam tensed, almost expecting his father to object and his mind was already working up a further objection. His brother could not withstand a shaking across the rough trail ahead of them. At least not yet, not with the way he was still bleeding. He felt the war waging within him as he knew that Joe also desperately needed a doctor and medicine.

"I know." The words were barely above a whisper and both sons read the pain in their father's voice.

"I'll ride for a doc!" Hoss was already moving towards his horse as he spoke. "Just point me in the right direction." He looked towards Tessa, hoping she knew more of the area they were stuck in than he did.

"The nearest doctor is Carson City. That's where I was taking him." Her words were flat and soft and each of them knew why. Joe would not have still been alive by the time she made it that far if he still had the arrow embedded in his side. Hoss had hoped to be riding to a closer outpost or town, but it was not to be.

Ben finally released Joe's hand and slid down to stand beside Hoss. "Ride hard, son. We'll stay here tonight and hopefully Joe will be ready to move out in the morning. We'll meet you on the trail."

Over the next hour or so, Tessa busied herself with pulling together a meal out of the supplies she carried, supplemented with what the Cartwrights carried in their saddlebags. She tried to ignore the glances that came her way and worried at her lip as she wondered how long it would be before the inevitable questions rolled out at her. Finally she settled herself against a rock outcrop and pulled Jake down beside her. The child had barely spoken a word and she pressed a plate of food into his hands, before nudging him to start eating. Her three guests sat eating, but conversation was almost non-existent. It wasn't until Jake fell asleep in her lap that any of them began to speak what had been chewing at them for hours.

"I didn't think there were many Indians out this way."

Tessa shook her head at the comment. "There aren't any as far as I know."

Ben frowned at her words and leaned forward. Before he could ask anything further, Tessa pulled her grandson a little closer and closed her eyes to compose herself.

"It's what they wanted others to think. To think we'd been killed in an Apache raid and nobody would look any further."

"Who? Why would somebody set up such a ruse?" Ben felt his temper rising as he listened. The idea that Joe could have strayed into the wrong place was bad enough, but to know that somebody had deliberately targeted him had his blood boiling.

Tessa tried to stop her hands from shaking, but the quiver in her voice gave it away. "Joe was on his way to Placerville to testify. He told me as much. The man on trial was once my son's best friend. When they got mixed up in petty crime, I couldn't stop them. When it progressed to more serious things, I knew that I had lost him. I'd lost him long before they got him killed. I think I really lost him when his wife passed."

The men watched as she pressed her chin over her grandson's head and tried to compose herself once again. "I told the sheriff what I knew and I took Jake and tried to make a new life for us. We've been hiding and I've tried to keep him safe. The men who did this to your son were trying to kill my grandson and me. Payback for me talking to the law and them putting the pieces together. They didn't figure on Joe being with us and he killed them. But not before one of them had stuck him with that arrow." Tears streamed down her face as she hugged her grandson closer. "It was aimed at Jake and Joe just launched himself into the line of fire. I ain't never seen anything like it! Why would he do that?"

Adam was sitting on the wagon, watching his younger brother's restless sleep while listening to the tale unfold.

"Because he doesn't think!" It wasn't intended to be a rebuke and he quickly attempted to soften his words as Tessa stared at him. "His heart rules his head and he would have just seen a child in danger. He wouldn't have stopped to calculate the odds. He would have just reacted. It's who he is."

As the words faded away, he brushed at a stray curl that lay slicked to his brother's face. "It's who he's always been." He found himself sucking in a deep breath to compose himself as he busied himself with a damp cloth against Joe's flushed face. Joe ran at life as though he was made of granite and yet he had the audacity to call Adam a granite-head! A small smile played at his lips as Adam recalled his brother's insult of choice. "He'll never change."

Ben caught the softly spoken words and nodded. He would not wish for Joe to be anyone but the man that he was and yet there had been too many days where he had borne the fear that went with his son's apparent reckless disregard for his own wellbeing. He climbed to his feet and headed towards the wagon. Joe groaned under his touch as he shifted the blanket to check on the state of his wound. It was still clearly bleeding as the bandage had soaked through again. In order to keep himself from straying too far into worry, he tried to continue the conversation.

"There's just one thing I don't understand. How did Joe come to be with you when all this happened? He doesn't know any of you and only got mixed up in this because a random stranger chose to pick a fight with him back in Virginia City. It was how Joe identified the man from the wanted poster and ruined his alibi for another crime."

The string of supposedly random events that had brought them all to the middle of the desert with his son hovering on the edge of death did not yet make sense to any of them.

"That's because Matthew has a big mouth!"

"Matthew?"

The name seemed to ring a bell and it was Adam who recalled it first. "The drunk back in that place we stopped. The one who said Joe had ridden out into the desert!"

They had dismissed the man's ramblings at first as just a drunken fancy, but suddenly Ben found his guilt rising again as he knew he had ignored the one clue they had so desperately needed.

"How do you know this Matthew?"

Tessa flinched at the question before looking up to answer. "He wasn't always a drunk. He was a good man once. He still is." Tears welled in her eyes again as she thought about how she knew the man. "My son and his friend killed his daughter one night last year. They stole his only child that night and they also stole his will to live! When they thought they got away with it, it only fueled their sense of being untouchable."

As Ben began to piece together the fractured story, he shook his head. Somehow Joe had stumbled into the middle of a family drama that was playing out in all its ugliness. He knew his son treasured his family beyond all else and his sense of honour that Ben had ground into all of his sons would have been at the forefront when he made his decisions. He could not fault Joe for his choices and was proud of him, but a small voice niggled at him as he watched him struggling to draw breath. Would his own sense of honour carry him through the death of his son? What price his son's life?

* * *

When he looked back on it later, Adam thought it may have been one of the longest nights of his life. Joe had awoken several times and his cries of pain had woken all of them. Not that any of them were really sleeping anyway. He had done his best to hold his brother still and stop him reopening the wound, but Joe being Joe, he had fought him. As Adam spoke calming words into his ear, he had held tight and prayed that Joe would slip back into sleep. His father had continued to try to bring down his temperature with cooling cloths but none of it seemed to be doing very much to help. Each time that Joe awoke they tried to get water into him. Both of them knew that he was sweating out far more than he was taking in and the promised heat of the next day would not help matters.

Adam slumped back against the back of the wagon seat and considered the top of his brother's head. The usually wayward curls were plastered to his head and Joe had finally succumbed to exhaustion and pain. His head lolled against his brother's chest and Adam leaned his chin on the top of Joe's head. It had been many years since either of them had felt the desire for such closeness; at least on Adam's side of things. A slap to the back or a punch to the arm was more of their style as they had grown older and Adam suddenly realised he missed his younger brother's childhood. All those years ago, Joe would seek him out and climb into his lap at any opportunity. At the time it had sometimes annoyed him when he was trying to study or read something important and he had shooed his brother away. Of course Hoss was much more amenable to the idea and Joe would often be found asleep, curled up against his older brother's broad chest. Never one for open displays of emotion, Adam silently berated himself for the many opportunities he had missed. Joe was the most tactile of the three of them and he still unconsciously made physical contact with others at every chance, especially when he was hurting. As he watched Joe sleeping, Adam vowed that he would begin to return the gestures and he reached out a hand to cup his brother's cheek.

"Hoss is bringing the doctor back, Joe. You're gonna be fine. You can't miss the dance next Saturday or Daisy Marshall will be most disappointed with you for standing her up, little brother."

The idea that Joe could be fit to dance by Saturday was ludicrous, but Adam continued on talking as though it was a done deal. A groan of pain told him that Joe was coming around again and he braced himself for the inevitable.

"He's just a kid!" The slurred words tumbled out into the darkness and Adam wrapped his arms tighter as Joe began to wrestle against him.

"So are you." Tears pricked at his eyes as he imagined his kid brother throwing himself in front of an arrow to save a child. It was so very stupid! And so very Joe.

"Nooo!" Joe began to push against him once again and Adam suddenly found his father by his side.

"Easy, son. Easy. There's nobody here to hurt you."

Joe continued to push against Adam's restraining arms until his energy quickly ran out and he sagged into unconsciousness once again.

"Do you think he knows we're here, Pa?"

Ben heard his own frustration in his son's question and he nodded vigorously.

"He knows! Somewhere in there … he knows!" He reached out once again with a damp cloth and began to wipe at the drips of sweat that beaded across his son's face. Even in the limited light from the fire, he could see that Joe was not improving.

" _Hurry back, Hoss!"_

* * *

Ben had no idea when he made the decision, but some time during the night he knew that he had to at least try to get Joe closer to a doctor. The wagon trail was rough, but they could pad things out with the two bedrolls combined. If Adam stayed where he was and held onto his brother, he could absorb some of the jarring motion of the wagon. Ben knew it was a possible risk, but he could not simply stay put and not try. As he heard his son moaning in pain, he knew he needed to get him something to dull it. His heart could not take much more of it and he found himself wanting to scream in frustration. If he had just listened to his gut, Joe would not be alternating between agony and restless sleep. He would be safe in Placerville, probably enjoying a beer or two after the trial and making plans to return home.

It was a simple matter to prepare the group for travel early the next morning. Surprisingly, Ben found that Adam gave him no objection to his plan. As he tied Adam's horse alongside Cochise he drew comfort from the fact his sons were together. Adam looked cramped and exhausted, but he had refused to relinquish his place. As the wagon rumbled off towards Carson City, Ben rode alongside, keeping an eagle eye out for any sign of distress. So far, Joe had slept through the whole thing, but he wasn't so sure that was a good thing.

* * *

Hoss could barely make out a dust trail in the air ahead of him, but it was enough for him to urge his tired horse into a gallop. The doctor who rode along behind him once again found himself wondering where he was heading to. If it were not for the Cartwright name, he would not have left Carson City with the frantic stranger who had barreled into his office and demanded he go with him. Finally he saw what the giant of a man ahead of him had seen and he pushed his own horse into a gallop. The wagon that slowly lumbered towards them was finally rolled to a stop and he quickly dismounted. Hoss grabbed at his horse's reins and began walking the both of them in small circles, allowing them to cool down from their urgent ride.

"I'm Jeffrey McDonald. How's my patient doing?" He held out a hand to shake as Ben grasped at it. He noted the fatigue on the man's face and he almost didn't want to hear the answer to his own question. If he were honest with himself, he hadn't really expected to find the young man still alive after his brother had described his condition.

"Ben Cartwright and my son, Joseph is …" He paused as he considered the question. Ben felt relief flooding his thoughts as the doctor climbed up onto the back of the wagon and immediately set to work. "He's still fevered, but we've gotten a little water into him since yesterday."

The doctor frowned as he noted the discolouration around the wound and the fact it was still oozing. The bandage bore witness to the infection within and he quickly set to cleaning the area with alcohol. Joe bucked as the liquid burned at his skin and Adam found himself once again trying to restrain his younger brother. He tried to force Joe to focus on his face, but his eyes could have been tracking the motion of a random fly for all he could tell. Eventually the doctor finished up his examination and he watched as Joe once again slumped into Adam's arms.

"Frankly, Mr Cartwright … I'm amazed he's still alive!"

Ben stared at him, unsure as to how he should take that remark. Was his son's condition still dire or was his tenacity going to win the day? He slowly dropped his gaze to his son's still-flushed face and decided on the latter. Joe was simply too stubborn for his own good and he was never one to back down from a challenge.

"None of us were ready to let him go."

The doctor watched as he sagged against the side of the wagon, exhaustion clearly etched into his face. He smiled as the woman he had yet to be introduced to stepped forward and pressed a cup of coffee into both of their hands. He assumed she was the man's wife and he smiled at her.

"Your son is a lucky young man." Suddenly the woman turned and marched away from him and he looked back to see what he had said wrong.

"Joe is my son. As are Adam and Hoss, who you've already met." Ben gestured towards Adam while Jeffrey still looked over his shoulder. "Her son is gone."

"I'm sorry. I just assumed that … well … that … I'm sorry." His words trailed away as he looked around. "Mr Cartwright, your son still needs a lot of care. You need to get him to Carson City where he can rest and recover fully.

* * *

The sounds of a child squealing drew Joe out of his dark dream. As he hovered between waking and sleeping, his mind wondered if he had imagined it. As another squeal floated through the air, he jolted fully awake. He began to sit up and was pulled up short as pain exploded in his ribs.

"Easy, son." Ben reached out a hand to steady him and Joe found himself tracking his father's face as he moved closer and settled on the edge of the bed. "Just slow down there."

"Pa?"

"It's alright, Joe. You're safe."

As the room stopped moving around him, Joe tried to force his thoughts into some semblance of order. Another squeal carried up the stairs and he found his father smiling back at him.

"I'm not sure what Hoss is going to do when it's time for us to leave. I don't know who is having more fun. Him or Jake!"

"Jake? He's here?"

"Yes, son. He's here and so is Tessa. We are in their home." Ben swallowed the lump that formed in his chest and forced on a smile again. "I'm proud of you son. From what Tessa told us, you saved them both."

Joe blinked as his thoughts caught up with him and he slowly raised a hand to his chest. His fingers ran down the edge of the bandage and he cringed as a memory slammed into him.

"They weren't Indians, Pa! They had arrows, but they weren't Indians!"

"We know, Joe. Tessa explained why they were trying to cover their tracks and make it look like a random Apache attack. She was being threatened for speaking to the sheriff and she took Jake away to protect him."

Joe was lost in his train of thought and was completely unaware that the door had swung open. Adam leaned against the doorframe and listened to the sound of his brother's voice. It had been too long since he'd heard Joe speaking coherently and he savoured the sound of it. The etch of pain beneath the words spoiled it somewhat, but at least Joe was making sense and not crying out random things as he had been for the past four days. The trek back to Carson City had taken its toll on all of them, but he'd willingly do it all again a hundred times over if it meant his brother would pull through. He absently rubbed at his sore back muscles as he listened to his father and brother talking. The sounds of laughter drifted up from the floor below and he smiled. Jake was chasing his brother around the open yard and Hoss had run into the front room, as if to take cover.

Adam found the smile quickly fading as he knew his youngest brother had also been chased by something. The shadows that had stalked him for days had almost overtaken him, several times. But Joe had done what Joe always seemed to do. He'd turned the odds in his favour and somehow he'd chased the shadows away. As Adam watched his father lean over and tousle his brother's hair, he smiled once again before stepping into the room.

"Good to see you awake again." Adam settled himself on a chair and cast an appraising eye over his brother's face. "Need anything?"

"Yeah, just one thing." Joe's voice was serious and Adam pushed himself forward. Maybe Joe wasn't doing as well as he'd appeared.

"Anything!"

Joe's face began to soften as he held back a grin and Adam wondered what was coming. "I need somebody to write a letter."

"A letter?"

Ben watched as confusion spread across Adam's features while Joe lost the battle to keep a straight face.

"Yeah. Something real fancy so Daisy will forgive me for standing her up!"

Adam paused for a second before a slow grin took hold. "You heard that?"

Joe nodded slowly as he considered his older brother. "Every word. A lot of it didn't make sense, but I could hear your voice in the darkness." He slowly stretched out his hand towards Adam. "Thanks for calling me back, brother."

It was one of the rare times in his life when Adam found himself lost for words. He swallowed hard as he reached for his younger brother's hand. He hadn't forgotten his vow to reconnect and when his voice failed him, his actions did not. Perhaps he really had played a part in chasing away Joe's shadows.


End file.
